A Logical BMX Step. A New Project

Dean Cueson Lawnmower

Today I am proud to announce a new venture that will be launching in the very near future. This website will be a combination of a past project and entirely new focus for BMX media.

What’s in the Cookie Jar?

The project will launch in August and will focus on people and their opinions and views on topics in an uncontrolled, raw, and unfiltered scenario. How they’re perceived is based on how they react. I will not allow anything or anybody to dictate their views on the subjects covered. If they feel comfortable discussing a certain subject, it is up to them to filter themselves.

Video content will be a key platform for growth with the new venture. HangupTV which has not been active for over three years has almost 700,000 views on a mere 7 videos, this to me is incredible statistics and it is something we can improve upon with the right content and people.

I have a number of people involved already who will be contributing opinion pieces and interviews.

Mark Webb and Troy Hayward

HangupTV will be the source of video content. I will capitalise on the YouTube channels success and integrate this as a main feature of the website. Opinions will be exactly that; if someone in the BMX industry or an established pro has something to say about the state of BMX culture or economy they are welcome to submit an article or counter article to the website and if it is of a high quality we will publish it.

Interviews will be a key promotion of this website. We want Pros, those who vanished, and those who make decisions to have a voice.

Dean Cueson Lawnmower

Logic BMX

I and my team aim to launch LogicBMX.com in August. We hope you will join us on this adventure.

You will see more content with people like Dean Cueson and with a lot of hard work, we will see Logic BMX become one of the pinnacle BMX media sites for those who want engaging and entertaining content.

The Great Video Debate

Passport to vlogging

I’ve been one of the most critical people of vlogging in the past, but in recent years I’ve come to love the medium as a form of learning and entertainment. To me, a successful vlog needs to be put together well, have character, interesting topics and content with good flow.

So why title this entry as “The Great Video Debate”? It all stems down to what I’ve said above, I’ve become a fan of vlogs, I follow many entrepreneurs, tech, and camera vlogs and they present a new unique view on life and everything around us. I’ve been debating whether to partake in vlogging during my upcoming travels. I’m not a huge fan of presenting myself on camera; as I’m not what you’d call an entertainer. I’d consider myself a voice of reason in the background, a coach, and someone who helps people understand their potential. I am usually the guy people come to for help and advice on things. That’s why recently when I became that person it was very hard for me.

Passport to vlogging

This will be the route to the beginning of vlogging

What content will you produce?

If I were to take on this role, what content would I produce? Well firstly, travel and adventure is something I would love to portray. Day to day activities consist of work and some form of a social or unsociable act and when I’m at home I am waiting for the next day; this clearly wouldn’t be interesting content. Another avenue that I could essentially re-visit is BMX. I ride with a lot of characters and some great people. I’d love to document these people once again like I used too, but with a more relaxed and non-filtered vibe.  I have also thought about doing little vlogs about the restaurants I visit, why? because I like to go to quirky and well-reviewed restaurants (no Nandos vlogs here).

What camera will you use?

Now the ultimate question is, how on earth am I going to shoot vlogs without owning a camera? This is the tricky part in my mind. Looking around the internet at it seems the most highly praised vlog cameras are the Sony a7s and a7r. The affordability of both of these cameras right now is a big no no. Spending over £2,000 on a camera and lens for vlogging is not going to happen. I understand I’d use it for a lot more, but it is such a large expense when I no longer earn money from filming. My obvious choice would be to utilise the camera on my iPhone 7+. I’ve filmed BMX clips with my phone and the quality has come out excellent, add that to the fact it has built in image stabilisation and 4K 30fps recording. It would be foolish to not give it a try.

 

The Great Realisation

The Great Realisation

People are creatures of habit. They cling to things they know and repeat their mistakes over and over. I’ve only come to realise this recently and it is why I am on a desperate voyage to reprogram my train of thought and reactions to situations

I see people walk into the same mistakes over and over. I am no exception to this. People crave attention, they beg for acceptance and to feel wanted when they’re at their lowest form. This leads to brash decisions and repeating the same mistakes that put you into that situation.

Today was another prime example of that when seeking closure I saw someone who was once very close to me become exactly that, a creature of habit and attention. Repeating a past mistake to feel something in an attempt to get over a situation.

One thing people need to understand is that you do NOT need attention. Please take my advice and do not repeat your mistakes.

What Makes a Good Employee Quit?

Why Good Employees Quit

Why People Quit

We live in an ever demanding time. We work more and earn less, our everyday essentials keep rising in price and we are under more and more pressure to deliver targets, exceed expectations in and out of the work environment. So what makes someone quit?

Bad management

I can’t stress enough that I have quit jobs in the past due to poor leadership and unwillingness to adapt. I have worked with companies that refuse to adopt new processes or technology due to up front costs, infrastructure issues, and being unsupportive in the roles that you are hired to fulfil.

A good manager can turn any mundane task into an exciting and fulfilling experience. When your manager is constantly hounding at you demanding results without any form of gratification for the hours you are putting in after work, on weekends, and in the mornings before you’ve even had breakfast, it can really take its toll on you and push any confidence you have in your abilities out the door.

Supporting your staff is crucial! I’ve worked with hundreds of people who feel underappreciated and treated like dirt. So much that they refuse to work overtime ever again because a simple thank you was never received for putting in the extra hours over busy periods which resulted in no monetary compensation. A manager must support their staff and praise them for everything they do right. Why treat your staff like a disposable object? The more you disrespect your workforce the sooner you’ll panic when you turn up and they’re gone. A great mentor and line manager I once had taught me an important lesson in life. You have to manage people into the job, not out of it. People are prone to making mistakes and no one is perfect. Spotting an error and then lashing out as if it has destroyed a business is not going to work, a solution would be to approach your staff an mention politely that you spotted an error while reviewing work and make notes of how it can be improved, or in some cases, if that manager is trained and has a clear vision for this project that hasn’t quite aligned, rather than sit on it and wait over the weekend for it to worsen a situation, they could fix it there and then and mention it on Monday morning.

A manager must support their staff and praise them for everything they do right. Why treat your staff like a disposable object? The more you disrespect your workforce the sooner you’ll panic when you turn up and they’re gone. I once had a great mentor and line manager that taught me an important lesson in life. You have to manage people into a job, not out of it. People are prone to making mistakes and no one is perfect. Spotting an error and then lashing out as if it has destroyed a business is not going to work, a solution would be to approach your staff and mention politely that you spotted an error while reviewing work and make notes of how it can be improved on or, in some cases, if that manager is trained and has a clear vision for this project that hasn’t quite aligned, rather than sit on it and wait over the weekend for it to worsen a situation, they could fix it there and then, then mention it on Monday morning.

Advice – Take it

I have always been an advocate for taking on the opinions and advice of those around you. If you hire someone as an assistant or someone in an influential position whose actions have an effect on how a company performs you should listen. Times change, technology advances, and techniques have to be adapted. Algorithms are constantly adjusted to create a fair and equal internet. So managers, if you’ve hired a specialist in a field or someone to assist you; LISTEN TO THEM! It’s so infuriating to see a manager stuck in their ways and fail to listen to logic because what they’ve achieved so far has kept them afloat. You hire people to improve business, to ease the stress on other workers, and to advance new ideas and techniques.

A post shared by Chris (@chriswilmshurst) on

What are the first signs of bad management?

On your first day, your boss calls you in for an introduction and congratulates you once again on joining the team. Once you’ve gone through all the basics you begin to talk about what the future will hold and what your job will consist of. Here you’ll be promised all sorts of toys and support. Fast forward one week later, you’re stuck with the most basic underperforming equipment and you’re left with no clear direction on what you’re meant to be doing. This sounds extreme and unlikely, right? Guess what? This happened to me! I was in a job for almost two years without my own computer or desk to call my own. Now, I do not wish to cry foul about this manager. He was, in fact, a very good managing director who gave extremely good advice and guided me in a business sector I was unfamiliar with, the only issue is he didn’t understand the role he hired me for and finances were not entirely under his control. The thought of spending £1000 on a camera for filming projects was out of the question in the eyes of the finance department, so this caused me so many issues. Self-funding my own job became the norm and thus became a financial drain on myself in a very underpaid position.

So what did I do? I spent months searching for a new job which suited my skill set and desired wage. Throughout this time I was the black swan at work. The business model was dying, the staff didn’t understand social media, and there was an overwhelming resistance to change and adopting these platforms. It wasn’t until I found my current job that as soon as I met the owners I took the job on the spot once we agreed on a wage.

Why Good Employees Quit
Are You Suffering From Bad Management?

Want some advice? If you’re being treated like dirt and you don’t feel appreciated all I can stress is that you speak out and explain how you’re feeling to your manager. If your manager truly has your best interest at heart (which he should as your performance affects his profits) he/she will take action and try to resolve the issues. If nothing improves within a  few weeks my advice would be to walk out and quit. You are a qualified hard working individual who comes to work every day to make a difference.

I can’t express that happiness at work is the utmost importing thing that matters if you’re doing something for a living. Fuck money if it makes you miserable. I would rather get by and be happy than being comfortable and numb. I’ve seen so many people destroyed by misery at work including myself.

Movimiento es Vida

Rainbow Bridge Tokyo

“Movimiento es Vida” – A simple Spanish saying that translates to “movement is life” this is something my friend told me and it hit home hard. We are not supposed to stay in the same place our entire lives. Movement and adventure enrich our lives and because of this, we cannot allow ourselves to become stale and complacent being in the same space for too long.

Movement is something I’ve seriously lacked in the past four years. I have failed on numerous attempts to bite the bullet and drop £80+ on renewing my passport. This prevented me from stepping out into the world and escaping England. Honestly, my own tightness and unwillingness did this. I was of the opinion that £80 could have been better spent on new camera gear, new computer equipment, on a good meal, or put fuel in my car for another month. Pretty much any excuse under the sun to avoid shelling out money. Over a month ago I said, fuck it! I’m getting it sorted and I’m going to travel, I’m going to experience these places I’ve always wanted to visit but avoided doing anything about it.

Paris, France

I’m determined to make up for all those lost years I failed to take advantage of and travel to another country. I have a list of countries and a plan to visit them over the course of the next 18 months. I once made a promise to someone that we’d go to Paris. I still intend to keep that promise with or without that person. It is somewhere that I have been on numerous occasions, visited the sights, Disney Land and Christmas shopping. It may be considered expensive and nothing special by some, but I enjoy the history and places it has to offer.

Rainbow Bridge Tokyo

Tokyo, Japan is one place I’ve always wanted to visit and after looking at flights and hotel costs along with consultation from friends who have been it is very affordable. Eight nights in Tokyo is definitely on the cards for a period between December and February. This will all rely on whether I can maintain my strict saving habit. Being such a huge fan of Asian food, culture, and even a little bit of Anime it is quite honestly one place I’ve always dreamt about visiting and if I could speak Japanese I’d probably move there.

Seoul, South Korea

Another place I have on my bucket list is South Korea. As a lover of cheesy Korean dramas, the food, and culture it is a no-brainer that I’d want to visit Seoul and marvel at all the technological wonders it offers. This will be a scary place to go on my own as ideally, I would love to experience this with a partner, but part of any movement is having the courage to go to places on your own.

Dubrovnik

I also wouldn’t be a Game of Thrones fan if I didn’t visit Kings Landing itself which is in the beautiful city of Dubrovnik, Croatia. A weekend will be enough for me as I’ve heard that since the release of Game of Thrones it has become quite expensive.

This will become an expensive 18 months, but my finances have become under control, I’m no longer spending excessive amounts on fuel every week. Saving has become a strong factor in my goals I am aiming to achieve and this will go a long way. Cut out the crap, sell things I no longer need, only spend when absolutely necessary and make the most of the freedoms I have. And all of these places I will document and take hundreds of photos to share. My blog will become the one stop shop for me to describe and present my experiences with you. I hope you’ll pop by when that happens.

 

Relections

My BMX

How do you look at yourself knowing you’ve become something you dislike? How do you face up to the underlying fact that you weren’t the person you first spoke of, that your kindness deteriorated, your passion and love withered away with each passing moment? Then your own reflection becomes something that you can’t stand.

This is something I’ve been battling with for the past month and further sparked by a heartbreaking and humiliating discovery. I have been a horrible person I was untrusting, stubborn, and aggressive, I also allowed this to completely alter my mood and weight.

My BMX

My diet plan

Over the past three years my perception of happiness was challenged and altered when I met the person I thought I’d marry, I adapted, I cancelled out, and attempted to shape my life around this person. Doing so resulted in less passion for things I loved doing growing up, changes of careers, investing in a different culture, and even putting on far too much weight in the process.
These changes of circumstance contributed to a decline in happiness.
When I gained weight my mood changed, I felt shit about myself, I felt shit around others and I relayed that onto other people. This was evident by the lack of time I would spend with others, I was rarely seen amongst my friends and when I saw my girlfriend at the time I was lazy, I didn’t want to do anything and I was a complete introvert.

It has taken a break up to smack me in the face. I’m one month into an aggressive diet, I’m riding my bike multiple times a week, and I am losing a lot of weight. I know this is the case as people are complimenting the fact that my physical appearance has changed and is reminiscent of my late teens, I’m becoming muscular and slimmer again.

These positive effects in my physique are also transferring to my mentality. Yes, I’ve had some shit discoveries and news today’s but it hasn’t overly knocked me back. I’m confident, I know I’m not ugly, I’m charming, funny, and generous, I have a lot to give to someone who has as much to give back.

So what is my diet? Well, it’s very extreme. I have been eating a bare minimum. Two bananas for lunch and a small tin of soup for dinner. I top this off with 3L of water a day and it has been a challenge. I have had the odd cheat day where I’ve had a packet of crisps or in the case of Topokki, a small meal. This may be considered excessive, but it is helping me greatly.

Here is a before photo and a current progress shot.

Before my diet started

Before starting my diet


Current diet progress

Three weeks into my diet, noticeable changes to my physique

Positive Steps

Without the people I call friends in my life, I wouldn’t be here. They are truly some of the most remarkable people I’ve met. None of them are perfect and some even have had similar experiences, but they are the reason I’m still smiling and pushing forward. I’m full of self-determination (SD) it has been a driving force and love behind everything I’ve undertaking over this month.

If you are new to this blog I noted in my first post that I now have savings, this is something I have never had. I have a game plan, a passport, a list of destinations I am going to visit and what I want to achieve over the next few years.
Writing and music have become my ultimate pass time. I was never a good writer and I did not do too well at high school in my GCSE’S, in fact, I’d quite honestly say I failed. Grammar and spelling are something that I’ve been battling myself with and challenging myself to understand much further as I’ve got older. If it wasn’t for Kyle Carlson at Vital BMX giving me grammar lessons and pointing out mistakes and teaching me about such things as the Oxford comma this blog would be ten times worse than it is now.

Music is also a strong glue that’s held me together. In the past when I had suffered a serious breakup, I’d retreat to my room and listen to extremely depressing music, but now I listen to positive music, music with a strong message of self-determination, ambitions, and goals. It’s these strongly worded songs that keep positivity at the forefront of my mentality.

I want to leave you with a list of songs I’ve listened too that may seem depressing, but have been driving forces in pursuing my goals.

Logic – Feel Good

John Legend – Love me Now

Flume – Say it like that (illenium remix)

Can a Tablet Replace My Computer?

Today I embarked on a new creative challenge. I purchased an iPad Pro 10.5″ in Space Grey in an attempt to limit myself from spending unfathimable hours sat at a computer desk. This decision did not come lightly, as a previous owner of an iPad mini I felt hesitant to make the plunge and click the order button. The iPad mini to me was a terrible purchase. I was an early adopter of the mini and because of that I did not have a chance to sit back and wait for reviews. I found the screen to suffer from immense aliasing and it wasn’t the fastest device to work with which contributed to a poor user experience.


So with a tainted experience in the past why would I jump into bed with one of the most expensive tablets available? The reason is that I believe everyone makes mistakes and even Apple isn’t perfect.  My good friend Daryl Baxter is responsible for this decision. Since launching this blog Daryl has been a big supporter of my site and continued to suggest and tout the iPad’s horn on various occasions. Daryl believes it has increase his workflow dramatically when it comes to writing articles and producing content for his blog.

I’ve known Daryl for several years and he is one person who gives technology, games, and anything a good run for its money when it comes to usability and dealing criticism where it’s due. So I decided to take his advice and pick up a 256gb model. I will be using this for work, photo editing, and updating my website. I aim to put it through its paces, testing out the build in keyboard, battery life, usability, and whether this can truly replace a laptop or desktop PC for the average computer user.

Making The Jump

Three weeks ago I was going to kill myself. Three weeks ago, my whole world came crashing around me. Three weeks ago the Police were called to hunt me down. This photo on Instagram post sparked a manhunt across Worcester in an attempt to find and stop me. I disabled Facebook, I turned my phone off, I hid away from the barrage of phone calls and text messages demanding to know where I was, insisting I call them. I argued with people, I pushed everyone close away and to the brink of tears.

What does a person write about themselves as an introduction? What does it take to define the first impression? Honestly, I could not tell you. Three weeks ago I hit a roadblock in my life. I parted ways with the person I believed I would spend the rest of my life with. At 28 years old my future ended and the past three and a half shattered in front of me.

Three weeks ago I was suicidal, for those who know me – this is completely unlike me. I am the strong, aggressive, no bullshit type in the group. Three weeks ago, I was blind to how my twisted and complex mind operated. I was unaware of my own defensive state and I pushed people away and those insecurities would overlay any logic and trust. Three weeks ago I was ready to jump.

I am your average 28-year-old man who grew up over half his life with an absent father, a family torn by greed, emotions, and stubbornness. For me school was horrible. I wasn’t unpopular I was friendly and pleasant with a lot of people, I was always chirpy, but school wasn’t engaging or emotionally investing enough for me. My young adult life was filled with long and short relationships, childish love and betrayal. It was that betrayal that shaped me into this person people have come to know today. An emotionally quiet, sceptical, and reserved individual.

Betrayal has been stuck in the back of my mind, a twisted illusion that has poisoned me on such a deep level that is has made it almost impossible for me to trust another person. A thought so dark that when I do find love and happiness I push it away, I fire up all my defences. A fire begins to ignite – questions, accusations, and a relentless hunger for something to be wrong begins to stir. It is this hunger that overcomes me and pushes someone away to the point I am alone. This feeling takes me to a place where no one can destroy what integrity and self-respect I have. It was this illusion that would soon be the destruction of my relationship that began with two and a half years of perfection. The final 12 months became a consistent barrage of dark twisted emotions and distrust that would be the undoing of what was once the thing keeping me going.

You see, the issue I’ve had with relationships is I’m emotionally invested. When I enter into a relationship I like to build the relationship and bring two separate entities together into something that can be everlasting. It’s this emotional investment that brings nothing but issues and pain in the long run. I have my idea of happiness, I would become upset when I wasn’t with them, I’d always want to know what my other half would be up to, I’d be jealous of any time she would spend with another person, even the thought of talking to guys would turn my emotions around. Trust would be destroyed with the glance of something as stupid as her liking a photo on Instagram. It would be this deluded emotion that would accumulate over time and would slowly kick down the walls of all reason and trust built. It would wreak havoc like a tsunami of paranoia that would eventually wash away a beach of reason.

Ultimately I got what I deserved. I pushed her away I wiped any emotion or love from her face and I could only see the rage in her eyes, it became the untimely demise of my own ignorance and stubbornness, a sort of poetic justice. The fact is, I did trust her, but I could never stop the underlining fear from overtaking, I became a host for negativity, my subconscious defences would kick in and control me, it would attack, it would guard, it wouldn’t listen to reason, and because of that it had destroyed me.

Three weeks ago I was blinded by emotion that blocked me from expressing myself to her. I pushed her buttons, I made comments that would make her hate me to the point that when she said it was over, it really was. It was childish and stubborn. I regret it unconditionally if I could explain to her how sorry and how wrong I was, I would hope for a chance, but I have no way to contact her, I’ve been erased and I will one day be replaced.

Three weeks ago my world has flipped upside down. This breakup became a catalyst, the red button to change. I may never get to see her again, I may never get to take her to Paris like I promised all those years ago and I may never get to put a ring on her finger and show her how much I want her to succeed and be happy with me knowing I’d take care of her, but I can change for the better.

Three weeks ago three weeks ago I was unfit, overweight, and depressed, three weeks ago I would spend my life behind a computer and away from people, three weeks ago I was unsure what my next steps in life would be, and three weeks ago I would never have made changes to my finances to pursue my future.

I am now confident, I’ve gone on an extreme diet that has allowed me to shed excessive amounts of weight in such a short time which ultimately has improved my confidence and attitude towards life. I opened a savings account to begin saving for a house, after one month I am 5% towards my goal of a mortgage deposit, and I have a passport! This is unheard of from someone who would spend his money on the latest gadgets, buying lunch and spending money on whatever I caught my interest. I’m focused on achieving things, I’m focused on making a difference in my own life and others.

I feel like creativity is back in my life and that a spark of creativity has ignited. I take more photos than ever. I am enthusiastic about riding again and I’ve seen more people in these past three weeks than I have all year. I feel like the person I was the day I met her, the day I first laid eyes on her, the day I kissed her. I have confidence and a passion, an end goal, and future, and now I’ll be taking that road alone.